The art of cultivating healthy friendships: a journey towards making meaningful bonds in this inconsiderate society

friends playing together

Everything starts to feel better whenever we hold our friends and spend time with them. In a society, where everyone is outvying to acquire something including a role of a critic for people whose tongues are shy to retort, friendship is identical to a free therapy. There is undoubtedly profuse toxicity in people we regularly meet and deal with, for our work, relations, and social need. Sometimes, it shakes our entire management, and sometimes it gives us reasons to cackle. It feels like wobbling in an eddy of ineludible toxicity that exists in social circle. Surviving in such environment requires something very soothing like friendship which mollifies us in distressing situations. However, we can’t deny the fact that even friendship can be toxic as well, observing modern rapports of youngsters which traumatize them for years and misguide them pushing them towards addictions, and other sexual shenanigans. 

Importance of healthy friendships : 

Friendship is absolutely a zone of proximal development where everyone is privileged to feel good, equal, and valued. It hardly demands anything except genuine efforts and affection for each other. Friendship is not only about befriending people, but also making them feel accepted, loved, and cared. It is our first step into a puddle of social life where we meet people who seem to be like us, we feel a spark to known them, spend time with them and have them in our life. Friendship can be toxic as well because there is definitely no particular tactic to detect toxicity in people without knowing them. In your milieu, if your friends make you feel inferior, less than them, and unwanted, this toxicity gradually damage your urge for social life, hindering your personal and social growth as it imparts fears. Keeping the bonds we excitedly make outside our family healthy is vitally important to avoid any inner conflict. Health friendship is a medicine to heal yourself, and it helps you grow fully, in which there is no iota of inferiority, judgement and even hidden rancor which is quite common nowadays in modern bonds.  

Be less possessive : 

It’s utterly common in all of us. Whenever we find a good person as a friend, we get connected not only socially but emotionally too. Befriending someone special with interesting personality and endearing nature fills us with sheer curiosity to know that person more. It gives birth to an intense desire to spend time with him/her because it starts to feel great with them, forming an attachment. Being attached to someone is not bad until it becomes toxic. Specially in friendship, emotional dependency on one person creates conflicts, leading to disappointment and grief.  

Healthy friendship diminishes such behavior. One remains attached to someone, but doesn’t feel any special privilege over them, because we must know that your favorite friend can have his other favorite friends, and having intense attachment with him can make you feel insecure, and inferior when they choose others over you for some shenanigans and merrymaking. Freeing yourself and your friends from your toxic expectations of having right on them is required in order to have a long lasting friendships. For nobody likes possessiveness in friendship. A sense of possessiveness is a slow poison which kills even a beautiful bond with friends. That’s why it is important to control possessiveness over friends to have healthy, beautiful and useful friendships.  

Don’t be insecure : 

Like other bonds, our personal insecurity towards our rapport with people we love to have in our life is a hindrance in keeping friendships healthy. For, I believe finding a good person whom we can call our true friend is as strenuous as finding a soulmate in this modern environment. Therefore, when we are with faithful, caring and genuine friend, we feel a sense of insecurity within us whenever we see our friend with others despite knowing the fact that it’s not only you who is their friend. Our best friends too have their best friends. Moreover, this is explicitly a human tendency to avoid what exudes a sense of insecurity and over possessiveness. Therefore, in a healthy friendship, insecurity shouldn’t exist regarding a friend. It is apparent any insecurity is a result of bad experiences, but your friend who understands you, is not responsible for it, nor he would like it. People are empathetic only until you start to pour your agonies on them, so even in friendship, we must avoid being insecure, traumatized and possessive and let our close friends be free. There should be no sense of power over them which damages even beautiful bonds if not restrained.  

Be joyful and thankful : 

What’s the point of having friendship if it doesn’t make you cackle, it’s nothing I opine. What I think is beautiful in friendship, is a loud cacophony of laughter. Cheerfulness emanates from being with friends, relishing immaculate vibes. Friendship is not an oasis of happiness if you fail to bring out laughter, joy and happiness from it. It is just a fountainhead of joy where you have to draw out what you are seeking for. It’s absolutely ridiculous if you think you have friends, you can be happy. No it’s certainly not convincing because there are many people who have a huge friend circle, but still feel lonely in this crowd, and there are also some people who have less than five friends, are still delighted. What should be prioritized is, the quality of friendship, what it does for you when you feel low, what it does when you need support.  

Being joyful with your friends is a positive indication that brings all people closer because happiness in friendship is very contagious. One cheerful friend can cause uncontrollable laughter to his friends that make every minute spent together a special one which we cherish for months. It’s also very important to express gratitude, for nowadays everyone is toiling to make their own happiness in this world, if one is there to laugh with you, spend time with you, support you and empathize you, he is worth appreciating and thanking. Although we are told to believe in this notion that there is no need of sorry and thanks in friendship, however it is not good, every person we have in our life deserve our apologies if we hurt them, and our gratitude for what they do for us selflessly. 

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