Living in a society full of diverse individuals grown in different environments is absolutely difficult, much like sailing a sea filled with plastic and icebergs. Negativity is there along with toxicity residing in vicinity which seldom makes you uncomfortable whenever it is profusely poured on you by others who you spend your time with and those who are technically in your circle. People we call our friends, our relatives and neighbors, oftentimes tend to be toxic and inconsiderate towards you. However, this category of people is like a shards of glass, always prepared to spoil someone’s mood and happiness in a jiffy on the pretext of being so concerned about one.
Since all of us are continuously dealing with problems, phobias, and agonies buried in ourselves, struggling silently. Some even struggle to do well in development tasks our society expects us to excel at. Due to phobias and trauma of childhood, some youngsters are shy, coy and aloof as their comfort doesn’t seem to be in a toxic environment that’s in every society. Some are still learning to speak confidently amongst their friends and neighbors. While some are working on their phobias that encumber them. Everybody desires to excel at everything which is deemed mundane in the society. However, a fear attached to particular activity that can be speaking in front of strangers, driving and not feeling confident, can hinder the process. Things get more complicated when one is highly sensitive and introvert because the introverts are too evasive about their things, and don’t confide in someone easily. Which is why their phobias become their monsters who haunt them.
These fears are generally targeted by toxic people who are hardly concerned about someone, but their unhealed agonies coerce them to deride one for his inability in particular activity. Toxic people don’t need logic to humiliate one person for their fleeting joy, they can shamelessly ask someone with driving phobia to drive a bike to get a chance to sneer at him. Their happiness depends on how much damage they can cause to someone. Their scoffs are joyful only when someone they target gets nervous and feel uncomfortable. Their intention to intimidate someone is fulfilled when person starts to avoid their presence and this looks like a success to them. Avoidance is an instinctive response we notice in ourselves when we don’t know other witty ways to tackle such toxicity we have to see daily. However, avoiding them is identical to giving them power to target you more, as your avoidance implies that their derisive demeanor affects you.
How to deal with them –
People caged in introversion, fears and insecurities are too decent to respond harshly. They care about everything they see, hear and notice in people around them. Toxicity feels like a tornado in their area of comfort with people. Therefore, instead of dealing with toxic people, they prioritize their comfort and avoid toxicity by distancing because they are aware of what people’s disdainful words can cause them. The root cause behind their deliberate derision is a lingering insecurity in those people that is triggered by someone’s amiability and conviviality in the same society. People rummage through your personality to find something to attack you personally. By making you feel inferior, they make a ridiculous attempt to make themselves feel superior. This is actually the worst way to seek happiness in the society only chosen by toxic people who are heavily traumatized, criticized and derided in their yore. It’s axiomatic that nobody wants to make snide comments or troll someone who doesn’t make them uncomfortable around him. They tend to criticize only those presence threatens their insecurities and triggers their inferior complex. Instead of working on their things, they toil to target someone who has nothing to do with them. Moreover, some people are habitual critics, their happiness emanates from spreading toxicity around them.
Eluding this kind of toxicity which you regrettably encounter every day, will never be enough. As the more you try to distance, the closer it will crawl back. It will make you suffer, sulking and leave you in a frenzy of rage against venomous people. It’s so naïve to think that everything can be resolved with patience and decency. Toxicity has a propensity of engulfing people’s joys, it demands their rage and inferior feelings to satiate its hunger. Tackling it decently is therefore equivalent to sparkling paraffin on wildfire.
You should be wary enough to convince yourself that you have the caliber to conquer your phobias and hone any skill that is necessary for you without any comparison with others. For, what you are capable of doing, may be others around you can’t, so why feel inferior when you are yet to learn to do what others easily do. Be it driving or speaking in public. All of us are imperfect, and that’s our true perfection. If there are people filled venom and scornful hostility, you shouldn’t be overly decent with them. The greatest strategy to deal with them, is retort as witty and smartly as you can without effusing any iota of frustration or anger. Express their words hold no power over your mood, their jeers scarcely have an impact on you. Instead of feeling bad due to their toxicity, you always choose to retort them not driven by rage, but because you choose to not let them shatter your confidence and rob you of joy every time you see them.
Don’t run from their toxicity, make them restrain their urges to humiliate you by being nonchalant around them. Inquire them why they are concerned for your issues, and what they are willing to do about it. Toxic people don’t have any concern, it is just their despicable habit. So, we must understand the need to hone a skill of dodging disparaging remarks and respond appropriately when necessary and comprehend as to why everyone we spend our time with, is not always our well-wisher or friend. Observe how toxic people draw attention to your inability to laugh, while genuine people offer you solutions to your difficulties. This will help you distinguish between the two. What is more important to do is focus on your things and try vigorously to conquer your fears. So that you can live well with self esteem and have your healthy self image which others try to tarnish now. For, what others think of you hardly matters
if you think of yourself in a healthy way. Self criticism makes outer criticism more lethal. It’s your responsibility to prioritize your tranquility, and self esteem that is the fuel for a better future and a good meaningful life.
