Narcissism is a diagnosable condition, but unlike conditions like depression or anxiety, it has a higher chance of becoming abusive. Narcissists being abusers is very common, but it’s not always a guarantee. Someone with narcissistic personality disorder can put the work in and have healthy, happy relationships. The issue is that the very nature of narcissism doesn’t make it likely they’ll seek out that help on their own. As an outsider, there’s nothing you can do to force someone in your life to get help and do the work or even get officially diagnosed in the first place. However, it can be helpful to know the signs in case you find yourself living with someone you believe to be a narcissist. If they match the signs, although you can’t do anything to push them to get help, you can get the help you need to handle their condition.
Signs Someone is a Narcissist
- Inflated Focus on Themselves
The classic understanding of narcissism goes way back to the Greek story of Narcissus, who fell in love with his own reflection. The modern-day interpretation is very similar. People who are narcissists will see themselves as the most important and won’t typically care about others. They may turn the conversation back to themselves again and again and dismiss you and your accomplishments.
- Lack Empathy
This self-centeredness is the cause behind their traditional lack of empathy. They may not seem like they care about things other people are going through, to the point where they’re dismissive or constantly one-up you just to get the conversation back on them.
- Manipulative and Controlling
Narcissists tend to be very manipulative and controlling. They may lash out at you, gaslight you, frame you as the bad guy for having boundaries, and so on. All forms of manipulation are very destructive. However, it is the more nefarious version, such as making you feel like the bad guy who constantly has to make it up to them to keep them happy, that is actually the more effective since you stick around for longer.
- Highly Critical and Even Mean of Others
When they do talk about you or others, they will be highly critical. They do this so that they can feel superior to you. They may tell you that you aren’t that pretty or that you are lucky that they are with you because they can do better.
- Unable to Be Sorry
Narcissists don’t think they’re wrong and instead always in the right, and if they did something to hurt you, that’s your fault, not theirs. This makes it hard for them to take accountability and say sorry or even feel sorry.
What to Do if You Have Kids with a Narcissist
Getting out of a relationship with a narcissist can be a challenge. It’s worse if you have kids. This guide from twohealthyhomes.com can help you understand the tools and steps you’ll need to better protect yourself and your kids. It can be so hard to keep your kids away from their influence since they’re so great at placing themselves as the victim. This can result in the courts siding against you. Use the tips in this guide to help stop that from happening and better protect your and your kids’ emotional wellbeings.
What to Do If You’re in a Relationship with a Narcissist
If you are currently in a relationship with a narcissist and have low self-esteem and feel constantly hurt and on edge around your partner, then it is so important that you get out. Your partner is not looking out for you, and you cannot be there through their “recovery”. You need to get in touch with friends and family and work on getting out as soon as possible.