In this era of modernity, relationships are quite easy to jump into through umpteen apps and websites consisting of people with unbridled desperation for the kind of love they envisage, demonstrating reluctance towards reality. People come across other people with same desperation and delusional sense of love and find what they think they need in others. It is extensively distressing to see this generation uncontrollably craving to find love as soon as possible without any effort, and sanity. As a result most of the time, people end up colliding with each other, being lovelorn and elated to relish the feelings of being loved. Loving someone requires lots of efforts, it is harder than usual if one doesn’t know what healthy love feels like. Love is literally a surreal feeling that feels like a magical touch all over our hearts. Undoubtedly, it is a powerful force all of us experienced it. Moreover, we have also experienced the toxicity that creeps out in relationships without us noticing it, and destroys even the strongest bonds.
In the realm of social media, everything appears to be perfect and alluring, even toxicity is well decorated in romantic urges of people. On dating apps, people pour their desires about what they have imagined to see in their partners. It sort of looks like a list of qualities which hardly connects with human nature. This is categorically a human nature to long for love, specially being loved is prioritized more. Therefore, whenever someone treats us lovingly even if it’s a romantic sham, however it feels good, and we immediately fall for this feeling that person has made us feel. Initially everything in a new relationship seems to be filled with utmost joy, unfathomable caring, and love until things get messed up due to lack of understanding, trust, and communication.
At this juncture, new generation is unbelievably obsessed with filmy love stories, so they dream to have a love story likethey watch in movies. Living in romantic reveries lands them in a situation when their obsession with illusionary love becomes a desperation coercing them mentally to make an attempt to find it in other people. Little do they know that everything is not as beautiful as it seems in filmy love stories. And relationship is not all about love, caring, coitus, and joy, it requires strenuous efforts to make it strong and work, dealing with different kinds of behaviors, problems, and romantic vicissitudes.But this is something this generation scarcely pays attention to.
Toxicity comes with desperation however it is not noticed as initially it is considered a form of love. When all the romantic sparks diminish, and the person who depends on other person’s effort to make him/her happy, ends up with disappointments. And eventually disappointments spawn frustration and anger that’s absolutely unhealthy enough to paralyze abond outright. People become too insecure to live without their partners, it is dangerous when this in security ignites unrestrained anger and disrespect which is utterly common in modern relationships. Furthermore, there is always a fear of betrayal bothering partner incessantly, leading them to vent their frustration and trying to enslave others emotionally. It too seems cute to new lovers, until their freedom is chained to the emotional demands of their insecure, toxic partners who hardly know about this romantic toxicity. This dependency of happiness on a partner is as cancerous as dating a fanatic loony.
Nowadays most people are not exactly craving a loving, loyal partner asthey know it is not possible for them to be loyal too. They just yearn for a listener who can listen to their trauma, tragedy, and agony and sympathize with them. Since, understanding each other, building trust, strengthening bond is so outdated and boring for this generation. That’s why nowadays we are not reasonably dating people, we are actually dating disorders, and traumas. This is absolutely a hazardous effect of social media life on a generation continuously feeling devoid of love, enticing them to look for it in every person whose sugarcoated tongue beguiles them.
At this time, people quickly sympathize with toxic story concocted wickedly, falling for the inauthentic gullibility of a person, and thereafter, when toxicity starts to spout out, we start to blame the relationship, but never introspect as to how joyously we nourish it in the first place, and how willingly we allow it to grow in the small acts of anger and disrespect. The one who earlier seemed so genuine, kind, and loving, starts to look like an enemy who doesn’t care. However, we still don’t think of climbing out of this emotional abyss on account of a fear of being alone, and unloved. This fear is explicitly a prime reason why this generation is crawling into psychiatrists’ offices more often.
People surrendering to routinely humiliation on the pretext of having a partner, eventually get smothered by toxicity of their partners, and then skedaddle to suffer with trauma their relationships caused. Their fears of being abandoned, tortured, cheated, disrespected create an intense sense of inferiority which haunts them forever, even if they manage to move on in their lives. This trauma never ends. Currently, all of us are dealing with our agonies, toiling to conquer those bad experiences haunting and pulling us back to suffering. Some keep on worsening their insecurities and suffer and invite others to suffer with them, while some look for a help, and heal their wounds without depending on others for emotional ointment.
Toxicity which I believe is the most pernicious, is that makes one feel unnecessarily hurtful. This is apparently common in boys and girls in this era when vulnerability is not generally kept hidden, and that’s really good too. However, living as a hurtful person is a curse not only for him/her, but also for people he dates, or depends for love. It is a result of considering oneself to be incapable of being happy without depending on others. Although this is first cradled by people as it looks like an emotional damage caused in previous relationship. We always know what can be toxic, but we deliberately nourish it, thinking it will heal other person and everything will be okay. However nothing happens like this.
Toxicity never goes away until one determines to work on it, and decides not to depend on others. We must also ponder why we can’t heal anyone, as we are not healers. We can empathize with someone, understand him, being by his side in emotional voyage. But tolerating someone’s unhealthy dependency and desperationis not in any way a form of love, instead it is a source of trauma, and suffering for others too. Therefore, distancing from toxic relationships, be it friends, or lovers, is a path to healthy and meaningful life all of us deserve to enjoy.
