We are living in a modern society with technical glitters and worldly possessions where life is considered to be interesting as now we are blessed with outstanding technology, opportunities, and dreams to rule the world. However, behind this glitzy glimpse of this scintillating world, hides a marooned reality of people that is labeled nonsense by newly constructed modern civilization. I am attempting to insinuate the emotional side of this society that sighs silently in the buildings that shine with attractive lights, standing tall in the cities where professionalism slightly damages the sensitivity of this generation that is immensely taught to believe in being cold about everything except career, demanding them to hide their vulnerability, trauma, and agonies living inside them since long.
Trauma is inevitable –
This generation is indescribably marooned with bright smiles. As we all grow up, we discover many things within us, and cultivate new habits, but due to repeated verbal pressure from family, society, relatives, teachers and friends, we mistakenly start believing in this notion that in this modern environment, emotions, sensitivity, and vulnerability isn’t healthy for us as these things are the main cause of suffering, heartbreaks, and trauma which hinders our growth socially and professionally.
However, trauma emanating from romantic relationships is quite common as we can’t deny the fact that we are emotional creatures. So, despite all the restrictions we impose on our emotions to evade any kind of pain, we end up making romantic relationships that feel like a home with beautiful view. This is a labyrinth we humans wander through to know life and explore ourselves emotionally, physically and mentally. Therefore, we suffer due to such emotional attachments feeling like an unimaginable disaster with no good future seemingly. We all wade through trauma, agonies and pain which can’t be possibly eluded.
Acceptance is the key–
I know it feels like drowning in air when we lose people who we dreamt to see our future with. After being highly vulnerable and emotionally weak while trying to cope with pain and hurtful memories, this emotional damage affects us so adversely, that being gloomy seems to be more comfortable than fighting the pain and trying to have a hope again. Trauma lives within us. It continues haunting us, stifling us, deepening our pain whenever emotions start to blossom again. It is unbelievably horrible for us to deal with panic attacks. However, there is good news. We all are not so far from the light we need to see in this abyss of trauma. That’s called acceptance.
Although it’s not fair to say this process is easy in the phase when melancholy accompanied by hopelessness, and resentments, is there, yet it’s a key that unlocks us from agonies and reduces the pain that feels as heavy as a rock. Acceptance is acknowledging the end of a relationship, attachment or friendship in which we devoted ourselves. It is refusing to be stubborn to get what’s lost. It is knowing, witha loss comes pain. Most importantly, acceptance is bearing the pain instead of avoiding it with false sense of strength. As we are told to believe that vulnerability is weakness. But it’s not true because weakness is running away from a problem and letting it grow. Like it happens with all of us when we ignore pain, and wear smiles confusing all even ourselves and allow trauma to reside within us for long, following a few theories of positivity that seems to work only on the outside, and the inside remains scarred.
Time doesn’t heal us –
Being hurt is too much to bear for all of us. Pain drives us crazy, making us do the unthinkable. We tend to try everything possible to overcome it. We cry, we fake nonchalance, we hide our sighs, and pretend to be fine amongst our families and close ones. But all of these ruses don’t work, as we sleep with this trauma, making us feel bad about ourselves, smudging our self image and creating anxiety that is the most dangerous inner demon we are forced to deal with. It’s inevitable to be unaffected in certain point of time.
Trauma can gradually tarnish our ability to be optimistic in our lives, makes us more depressed with a smile, making us feel uncomfortable in our own skin, and forces us to live caged in anxiety, when we unwillingly water our resentments and refuse to let it go. Trauma contrives noticeable fears that haunts us from living our lives as happily as we can, it kills our interests, making us fall for wrong ones, and getting anxious while connecting to someone. This keeps happening over and over again until we make a strenuous effort to change the course of our lives. Hurting and getting hurt is an endless journey at this time because we are living in a world flooded with depressed, traumatized, and lovelorn people with beautiful smiles and good jobs, waiting for time to heal them. However, it’s not true at all. Time doesn’t heal anyone, it just makes us fit in that feeling of pain. Our efforts with a determination heal us.
Stop shouldering resentments –
A wound is actually a lesson for everyone to understand how life works. If we keep scratching it, it would never heal. Not only that, it will give you a permanent scar to remind you of your pain again and again. Likewise, conquering trauma necessitates an absolute desire to abandon resentments against anyone. For, with resentments and memories, one can only enhance pain and suffering just like scratching a bleeding wound.
Mind is a like silent lake with unfathomable depth. If you dip your fingers, it will remain silent. If you throw stones, it will pierce silence, and create a chaos for you. So, storing resentments, and grudges inmind is truly unhealthy and averse to healing. Eventually memories fade in oblivion too, and that’s when one senses real tranquility and healing that doesn’t demand to forget past, but it just ends what haunts us, giving us one more chance to dream to acquire what we want, and live happily, having good relationships, and love too.
Shouldering trauma while seeking solace in someone else without cleansing hurtful dirt of past, is just another mistake we make. Sometimes, unfortunately some people suffer so much that they don’t even realize how much their minds have been affected by what they faced. They think this pain and trauma is all that they deserve. They fall for promiscuity as lust seems more peaceful than anything else. However, nothing can calm a quivering heart until one wakes up from his illusionary life of his mind, and tries to let go of everything. And embrace himself again. And that’s what is called life. A seesaw. Sometimes ups sometimes downs.
Pain comes, so does happiness. Trauma comes, so does healing. As none of these stays forever like a friend, all are visitors. What stays is our peace, that’s what monks advise us to prioritize. There should be absolutely no hesitation to ask for help, be it emotional support from a close one, or medical help. As all the things are important to help yourself to come out of trauma and rejuvenate yourself to live a good life, meanwhile embracing spirituality extensively elevates this healing process, as mind becomes calm, and eventually pain diminishes.