How To Develop A Secure Attachment With Your Child

a mother teaching her daughter to play a ukelele
Photo by Mikhail Nilov on

The article is developed in partnership with BetterHelp.

You are your child’s most significant individual. In the first two years of life, your baby’s brain will develop fast, and it will continue to develop throughout his or her life. The way your child develops is influenced by his or her bond with you. Your baby’s brain activity is enhanced when he or she is in a loving, secure relationship with you. Additionally, your child will develop an enthusiasm to explore, good coping skills, and sentiments of both trust and empathy for others as a result of these great early life experiences.

Your child relies on you to protect, feed, and soothe her. When you hold your newborn in your arms or hold them close to your body in a loving way, they feel safe and comfortable. When there is warmth, connection, and security, most parents and newborns relax more.

When parents can read their baby’s language (cues, motions, behavior, and eventually words) and respond with compassion, they have a stable connection. Of course, no parent is flawless, but making a concerted effort to meet your baby’s demands will pay off in the long run.

Prioritize Family Time

Assume you’ll have to invest a large amount of time in developing a positive relationship with your child. Because there is no switch to turn on proximity, quality time is an illusion.

There is no quality in a relationship if there isn’t enough of it. If you spend all of your time at work and she spends all of her time with her friends, you can’t expect a solid relationship with your daughter. So, as difficult as it may be given the demands of a job and everyday life, if we want to improve our relationship with our children, we must make time for it.

Encourage Your Children

Consider your child a plant with a natural desire to grow and flourish. If the plant’s leaves are brown, you should examine whether it requires additional light, water, or fertilizer. You don’t scold it and yell at it to get its act together and grow up.

Every day, children shape their perceptions of themselves and the world. They need your support and positive parenting to perceive themselves as excellent people capable of great things. They also require assurance that you are on their side. If the majority of what you say is criticism or correction, they won’t feel good about themselves, and you won’t feel like an ally. You lose your only bargaining chip with them, and they lose something that every child craves: the assurance that they have an adult who cares about them.

Remember Everyday Interactions Are Significant

To create a bond with your child, you don’t need to do anything extraordinary. Every interaction builds the relationship, which is both good and terrible news. Grocery shopping, carpooling, and bath time are just as important as that big discussion you have when a problem arises. 

Do they refuse to share their toy, go to bed, or do their homework? How you deal with it, as well as his views on all partnerships, is one of the foundation stones of your long-term relationship.

That’s why it’s important to consider how you might tackle any repeated interactions that irritate you using positive parenting techniques. Repeated interactions are more likely to form a pattern. Criticizing and nagging your child is not a good way to create a positive relationship with them. Plus, life is too short to waste it being irritated.

Maintain Emotional Availability

However, the most crucial aspect of remaining available is a mental condition. Your youngster will be able to tell if you are emotionally available. Parents with tight ties with their teenagers frequently claim that as their child has become older, they’ve made it a habit to quit everything else if their teen expresses an interest in talking.

Of course, if you’re also juggling a busy work and other duties, this might be difficult. When children believe that other things are more important to their parents, they may seek emotional support elsewhere. Read more about the importance of an emotional connection with your children here

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