Love at First Site – No, Love at Hindsight

grayscale photo of man kissing woman s nose while standing inside a train
Photo by Jonathan Borba on

According to text book definition, Love at first sight is a personal experience as well as a common trope in literature: a person or character feels an instant, extreme, and ultimately long-lasting romantic attraction for a stranger upon first seeing that stranger.

I’ll admit, when I was younger and a bit more naive, I used to believe in love at first sight. Now that I’m older I am certain it’s more like infatuation at first sight and love at hindsight. Don’t get me wrong, I love (pun intended) infatuation as much as the next person so I’m not complaining about the “crime” in so much as I am identifying the perpetrator.

Infatuation is something that starts in the pre-dating/dating phase of a relationship, and love is something that (hopefully) takes over when we come down out of the clouds. You know, once the angels stop singing us awake in the morning.

Sometimes if we’re lucky, infatuation and love overlap and turn us into a gooey, lovesick monster that our friends secretly can’t stand to be around anymore. Well okay, they wouldn’t mind us being around as long as we’d just shut up about how wonderful “he” or “she” is.

Do not try and act like you don’t know what I’m talking about because we’ve all been “that” person a time or two in our lives. We all know what it is to feel like the proverbial million dollars while we forget to eat, refuse to sleep, and spend a small fortune on flowers, candy, and cards.

Now if we’re really lucky we get to have infatuation and love overlap and then have both of them stay with us for a lifetime. If you’re not sure what I mean, just look at an elderly couple that have been together for many years, are still madly in love, and actually like each other’s company.

Couples like this are easy to identify because they hold hands in public, and have conversations with each other that are “worthless” and “priceless” all at the same time…They are still in a state of infatuation that has never wavered since the day they met.

So please remember my fellow victims (uh I mean vulnerable beings). Infatuation is something you can’t fight and love is something you can’t force. Infatuation is insidious, and kisses are poison but love is lying in wait to pull us under the surface of what would otherwise be a meaningless day.

It really is an amazing way to go through life when you think about it. Being infatuated is thrilling, and being in love is breathtakingly beautiful but being alone echoes with clouded memories, dying hearts, and impossible tears…Just sayin’.

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