One of the biggest questions when it comes to relationships is why do people cheat in a relationship?
How could someone they loved and trusted – and who they believed loved them back – deceive them in such a hurtful and shocking way? There’s usually not only a sense of upset and anger but also utter disbelief.
The reasons partners cheat on each other are diverse, but there is a number that crops up repeatedly in the counseling room and on social media. If you’re presently struggling to understand why this has sadly happened to you, you may find it helpful to think about some of the following mentioned below.
- Broken Promises: One of the biggest reasons people cheat is the feeling of unfulfilled promises made by one partner. When this happens, the other partner may feel that they have not been treated with attention and love. In response, the person will often try to find someone willing to fulfill the promise made while the relationship was still fresh. As a result, intimacy develops with this ‘new person,’ and partners cheat.
- Esteem: Another reason for cheating is related to low self-esteem. When a relationship is new, the individual is usually excited about the prospects of a committed relationship. However, as time passes, the excitement wears off because the other person becomes familiar and knows about their faults and the same situation in the relationship. The individual may also realize that they do not have the skills, talents, personality, and confidence to fulfill their commitment.
- Revenge: This is perhaps the most toxic kind of cheating. People sometimes cheat out of a desire to get revenge or anger. Maybe you just found your partner cheated; you’re hurt and stunned. You might want to make your spouse go through the same pain so they really understand the hurt they have inflicted. Eye for an eye is often the driving force behind retaliatory infidelity.
- Opportunity: Simply having a chance to cheat can make cheating more likely. This doesn’t mean everyone who has the chance to cheat will do so. Other factors often (but not always) add to the impulse to cheat.
- Needs: Sometimes, one or both partner’s demands for intimacy go unmet in a relationship. Many individuals choose to stay in the relationship, often hoping things will improve, particularly if the relationship is fulfilling. But unmet sexual needs can lead to disappointment, which may worsen if the distance between the two exists. This can motivate people to get those needs met somewhere else.
The most common causes of infidelity are the need for emotional support and attention, the need for sexual satisfaction, and the need for security. It has also been found that women are more likely to cheat than men. A man may also stray due to intense competition with others. Work and business obligations can also lead a person to stray. However, if a couple has been together for a long time, breaking up is very rare, not but zero.
The duration of time a person cheats on their partner depends on several factors. These include the length of time the partner has been together, their level of intimacy, and their attitude towards the relationship. For example, if someone has been together for four years and the partner cheats in two months, it is doubtful (but not unlikely) that they will ever be faithful again as guilt drives them back to love. However, if someone has been together for six months or more and the partner cheats in three months, then chances are higher that they will cheat again in the next three months or so.
One of the main reasons people cheat in a relationship is that they are unhappy in their own life. People also cheat because they feel their partners do not love them as much as they did on their first date. It is essential to remember that the relationship is a two-way street. It is not okay to hurt your partner, but you also need to show them that you love them.