How to break up without hurting your partner

young couple in city at night
Photo by Trinity Kubassek on

Are you in a relationship where you are having trouble breaking it up? Do you want to know how to break up without hurting your partner? 

The first thing you want to do is make sure you are not making yourself a target. Believe it or not, people who try to “save” a relationship by trying to make it work will usually end up making it more difficult. Think about it… would you want your ex to remember you for hurting you? No way! So just relax and think about what you want out of the relationship and forget about the past. If you think things will work out, then that’s what will happen…

Once you are sure you don’t want to be hurt anymore, it’s time to move on from the relationship. Here are a few steps that will guide you.

Before you talk about it, ask yourself why you’re not happy in the relationship. 

You perhaps didn’t choose to break up in a jiffy, so step back first to contemplate. Think hard and long about why you’re leaving your partner and what you want to say so that you can go into a discussion feeling firm about your decision. Ask yourself what caused this relationship to turn stale: 

  1. Is there a lack of time and romantic feelings, 
  2. Is your compatibility fading, 
  3. Is your partner abusive?
  4. Are you just not feeling the spark?

Don’t delay it

Once you find answers to the questions above, go ahead and break up. Don’t derail and delay it. You don’t need to give your partner a heads up, but don’t break up on the phone. Meet them and say it on their face.

Don’t forget to be kind while you talk about ending it.

Treat the other individual as you would want to be treated in life. Because breakups require a lot of feelings, sometimes, our sentiments can get the best of us. But if you’re the one instating the separation, be the bigger man and stick to your studied script.

Avoid Blame Game

After you reveal that the relationship is over, please don’t turn it into a blame game. Instead, talk about yourself and your flaws. Avoid cliches like ‘it’s not them, it’s me.’ The breakup’s goal is to let someone down easy and finish things without a lot of anger and hurt. Blame game after initiative a breakup is the worst thing ever, and you should avoid it. You can be considerate while being direct and clear about what you want. Empathy and kindness go a long way in a difficult situation like this. So don’t blame, be empathic but don’t forget to be direct.

So the breakup is complete. But a complete breakup conversation doesn’t always mean the lack of guilt and feelings towards the other person. However, be careful not to use your anger on your partner, even if it’s warranted. If you are able to manage your anger well, the breakup will be clean. Also, please don’t play with your partner’s emotions by giving them a false sense of hope and promises about friendship and connection. They don’t deserve insincere promises. 

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