There was this guy I wanted to get out of my head. But whatever I did would bring back his memories, and I would feel pathetic again. I worked as a travel journalist in those days. And even the places I would write about made me remember him! The words, the locations, my clothes: almost anything reminded me of him. I was feeling down.
While I drifted into reveries about him thinking about how we had had an excellent time at the hills and how I was missing him, I suddenly shrieked – “Stop!” ” How did I begin thinking about the hills?” I asked myself. I saw that just before thinking this “hill” thought; I had thought about how he had kissed my hand on that same day. And just before thinking this “kissing” thought, I had remembered the brown clothes he wore that day. Gradually I started backtracking my thoughts to find out what got me thinking about him in the first place.
I had stared at the chandelier–> They reminded me of the day when I had first met him because I had counted the number of lights on the chandelier that day –> That reminded me of the way he looked when I first met him at the airport–>That made me remember the shirt he wore that day at the airport–> The pant reminded me of his clothes when we were chilling at the hills –>That made me remember the fantastic time we had at the hills.
Damn! So this chain of thoughts began when I looked at the chandelier.
That entire day after that, I began tracking back my thoughts whenever I was thinking of him. As soon as I noticed myself thinking of him, I would ask – “Where did that idea come from?” And always, it would be triggered by doorknobs, wall paintings, and bulbs! Simple everyday objects would be the triggers.
I approached this like a game and kept playing it. Can you believe that by late evening, I had stopped fussing over him? I was suddenly more at the moment, relishing my time writing my articles and discussing dinner with a friend without any “Oh! Man” thoughts.
Do you want to forget someone or something, and do you want to stop fussing over it? I guess this method can help. as your day passes, whenever you notice yourself thinking about that individual or a situation, ask yourself – “Where did this feeling come from?” And then backtrack the thought to what initiated it. Was it the refrigerator, the wall, or the sky?
Just backtrack the thoughts to their source, and you will start forgetting what you wanted to forget. This works because rather than being flooded by a sea of nostalgic thoughts that leads us to a dreamy world, we actually pause to observe what we are thinking – and so the thinking stops having authority over us.