Beginner’s guide to Developing Authenticity – A 5 Step Approach

Ego and Selfishness and I am the best attitude - leadership and leader
Ego and Selfishness and I am the best attitude - leadership and leader

Being genuine as a leader can be challenging. Let’s face it there are several shades of gray when it comes to our discussions with others. And there a mixture of styles that we take on in those talks. For instance, if two friends are getting together for shopping or a round of golf or having lunch, some exchanges could range from ridiculing and usual poking of fun to asking one another for their view on any given subject to questions into one another’s personal life. Much like that lovely swing at the tee, it’s all in our approach.

Some people have a simple and easy swing with a direct hit on the ball. Translated into the human conversation, it might sound like this: “So in our last discussion, you told me you were worried about your daughter. With this approach, we head into our topic based on what our mate has said in the past and see what they want to reveal. Another individual might take a separate shot. This discussion would look like this: “So what’s this issue you’re so worried about with Ana? Did you have a word with anyone about it?” Here you have a linear swing with more velocity, and you nail the ball (your point) hard and swift. Either one is perfect as long as you know who you are speaking to.

How to sound Authentic?

  1. The most basic step towards authenticity is the awareness of our emotions and also about our thoughts. Self-understanding will get your emotional response right almost always. If you are aware of yourself, you are genuinely authentic with ‘yourself’, which is crucial before facing the music outside. 
  2. The next step to authenticity is the self-acceptance of our feelings and emotions. This does not mean that we must always act on them. For instance, it’s one thing to realize that repeated phone calls feed my anxiety and anger, and it’s another to act it out talking to someone on the phone! It is one thing to accept that I’m fearful about growing my business, and it’s entirely another to be so puzzled that I’m sleep-deprived thinking about it all night.
  3. The next step revolves around exploring your values. Ethics, integrity, and living our values is an effective way to live more authentically. After you are self-aware and accept your genuine feelings, it would help if you explore your values while out in public and hold on to them. Don’t let anything get in the way of your integrity and ethics. 
  4. The next step is the art of letting it go. When you come across an emotion, a thought, or an action that doesn’t represent your authentic self, work on letting it go. It might take time, but it’s worth deleting it forever. 
  5. Don’t be heartless. Make decisions and statements consciously. Eat your words if you feel they might ruin a relationship with someone. Think before you speak. Be conscious about making any decision. 

Now You know

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