Millennials, you need to understand that there are different roads you can choose in order to have sound personal life. Being able to have relationships that unite in a way that is sustainable over a lifetime is important to a healthy marriage.
Millennials know that they unquestionably must change their viewpoint on love if they want to transform the trajectory of marriage in their own time. The problem is, they don’t know where to begins.
Two types Of Couples
When two individuals marry, they normally continue repeating their parent’s toxic habits even when they don’t want to. Subconsciously they go back to what they understand because it’s what’s comfortable, like a soiled diaper. Even though a soiled diaper stinks, we’ve accustomed to wearing the same stuff over and over again because it’s what we’re used to. Often these duos end up in divorce just like their parents.
When two toxic people marry who are consciously aware that choosing to improve their subconscious beliefs take work, and they’re willing to do whatever it takes to build a healthy environment, they become difference-makers that not only stay together but also transform the world around them.
Why Some Individuals Never Change
Those who don’t wish to take individual responsibility to evolve will often argue, “Who’s to say what’s healthy and what isn’t? The term “healthy” can be biased from a relational sense.”
Though that could be true, I think of a healthy love that is rare, one that removes bitterness, pride, gossip, greed, criticisms, addictions, and that takes personal responsibility for showing your love rather than demanding love. This takes work and often financial resources to create a wholesome environment.
You might be asking if this context would still be possible if only one individual in the relationship were to choose a healthier lifestyle, but the other refused? My response will always be yes. It is still likely, but it takes twice as much confidence on the part of the one who is making better decisions to stick with it.
Strengthening or Settling
Does this mean that you are settling by staying? Not one bit. You chose to marry the only person you have ever loved. You made a covenant between yourself and god to stay committed to that person and live in unity. This takes an additional dose of faith on your part to be intentional about your choices. You must allow pitfalls or excuses to keep you and your love stuck in weak, sinful habits, nor allow beliefs about who you are as a couple to derail you both from finding joy and staying together.
I’m speaking to single or newly married Millennials: do not buy into the belief that ‘good is good enough. When you feel your love is good enough, you stop evolving. There is no moving forward. This is doing the same things you’ve always done while you keep getting the same results you’ve always obtained. I can guarantee you that this thought is part of what adds to divorce. Always keep genuinely learning about what makes a successful marriage.
Be content in all things, but always prefer to give your very best to your better half just like you did when you started to win them over. If you remember that loving differently than your examples did is ALWAYS worth the risk, then you may soon see progress. You will still have ups and downs no matter what, but you’ll be able to get through them in a much more robust way, the only way… together.