“It shouldn’t have made me angry”


But yes, it undoubtedly does. I often hear this from friends: “God. I’m so pissed at her. I just cannot believe he did that! He does this every damn time. Why do I always let it get to me so much?!” 

Does this sound familiar?

I’m pretty sure you can think of a time where 

  1. You were disappointed with someone about something and 
  2. You were also disappointed with yourself for being aggravated in the first place. I know it has happened to me a few times a few days ago. 

Think about the last time you were pissed about being pissed. Could it have taken you more time to get over the situation than if you had been fine with your anger? When we judge ourselves for our response to a particular situation, we often double the energy needed to regain our balance.

The next time you find yourself angry for being angry, implement the steps below to easily get past it.

  1. Recognize how you feel about the scenario. (I’m angry at him for what he did, and I’m angry at myself for being angry about it.)
  2. Happily allow yourself to feel how you feel. Privately and safely express your emotions. Take it out, dear. ([If you’re pissed at something, just allow yourself to be pissed. Get it out by penning it down in your notepad, by yelling–someplace where it’s private and safe–or by going for a run or walk.)
  3. Question yourself what story you are thinking about why you shouldn’t be pissed about what happened. (I shouldn’t be angry because he does this all of the time–I should have expected it.)
  4. Question yourself what story you are thinking about why you feel annoyed about the incident. (He always talks down to me, and it’s so stormy.)
  5. Think of new stories. (I can choose to keep my calm even when others are arrogant. He is who he is, and oh, well.)

I lately walked through a similar situation with a friend. He found the most satisfaction once he stopped being upset with himself about being upset. Sometimes, we are the hardest on ourselves. When he found peace with his reaction, it was simple to change the story about the mad woman he was facing.

Be calm with yourself when someone is behaving stupidly and acting crazy. Being angry about being angry only doubles the anger!

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