As a single girl in my twenties, I see myself unconsciously and consciously thinking about and trying to figure out who is made for me.
My aim has always been to be friends with my future husband for at least a year, a date for a year, engaged for a year, that includes being married by the time I’m twenty-nine.
This purpose may seem far-fetched, and I admit it is, so I’m open to changing it. I guess I know what I genuinely want in a future spouse (I think), and I unquestionably know what I don’t want. But the maturer I get, the more I realize that the hurdle to find someone who fits what I want and what I don’t wish to seems like a “mission: impossible.” My anxiety steps in, which seems to lengthen my wait to meet this future husband of mine.
Sometimes, I reflect on the idea that he is out there somewhere, so I wonder what he is doing at that very second and if he is thinking of me. As much as I am trying to find someone, I’m reminded by my friends and by numerous blog posts that are shared online daily how they discovered their special someone when they were least expecting to. I have to tell myself and know that destiny will introduce me to him and reveal who he is when he is ready, and I am ready.
So, according to destiny, I’m not ready? I guess I am, but at times I have my suspicions. Maybe he isn’t prepared, which could mean that he is doing something to better himself for our relationship. I’ll always go back to the pizzle of if I’m ready or not. How will I know? I believe the answer lies in how I respond to the below questions:
I question myself if I’m financially ready. Who is? I finished college four years ago and have already gone through two career changes, and now I write on this beautiful platform. Presently, my focus is saving for my future, purchasing a house, and paying off some bad loans. After all, I don’t want to drag him into my debt and my spending habits. I know that I need to get better in regards to finances.
I ask myself, am I physically attractive and fit? The straight answer is that I’m not in as great of shape as I’d like to be, and beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I understand I need to look online for articles about cooking healthier for bachelors, join a gym, and watch how many times I venture out to eat.
I ask myself, am I smart? I think that until I stop watching stupid Hulu shows or sleep my weekends doing nothing, I still need to work on attaining smartness.
I question myself, am I smiling everyday? A relationship can fill the void of being alone and bring happiness, but should I put that burden on my future husband? If you are happy being yourself, being happy single, and don’t need someone, that is a great step in the right direction. I think that needing someone to fill a void and requiring someone to fill a void are two completely different things. This is why your relationships start with you. After all, if you are not in love with yourself, then how do you demand someone else to?
When you meet the above aspects of your life to an agreeable extent – then watch out; your future spouse may just be in the gym, at the local bookstore, at church, at school, at work, or at standing at a bank queue.
