Great pleasure is relished by those who believe that their loved ones will always act with integrity and honesty. And as many of us recognize honesty to be the very foundation of our relationships with our loved ones, we are wired to seek the truth, however painful this may be, before making our versed choices on whether to stomach things, forget, or forgive.
On the other hand, we may be prepared to excuse a “white lie” if they can persuade us that our partner is motivated by noble intentions.
Our loved ones are likewise faced with crypt decisions about whether to tell us the reality or not, and this can be a challenge, especially if they do not know what our reaction to the truth is going to be.
How many of us would unconsciously tell our other half something that could destroy our domestic bliss or eventually cause a rift? In seeking to secure their approval, we may sometimes feel compelled to tell a white lie. But when does a lie form a mere effect of weakness? And when should we take exceptional care to avoid grief and breach of a domestic union?
Consider, for instance, the case of a wife lying to her partner about how much she spent on a birthday cake. Why did the wife lie? Was she seeking to shield her image as a financially reasonable person or, was she seeking to circumvent the possible risk of angering her husband about a perceived trivial expense.
Depending on the situation, a lie may be interpreted as an innocent indulgence, a human naiveness that can be overlooked.
However, many reading this article would agree that the price of trust is beyond measure, and when faith is corroded, we find it harder to give new chances. Hence a calculated decision to tell the truth (or not) can have far-reaching consequences.
Occasionally, we may act in a hurry for fear of losing our loved one or being perceived as an unforgiving cheat. However, we may live to repent the feelings of anguish and guilt that can “eat away” the peaceful relationship we desperately seek to sheld.
Most relationships would indeed profit from a few tips.
Communication: Agree that fairness is a priority. Choosing as a couple that you both want considerate and open communication is essential in establishing honesty ground rules.
Communicate about what you need, not what your partner must do.
Example: I’m feeling puzzled lately. Would you help me recognize some ways I can get some more assistance? When someone is spoken to “honestly” about their lacks and shortcomings, it is understandable that they may get wary and refuse your request or seek terrible revenge later.
Identify off-limits topics: Even after you’ve chosen, to be honest, some cases are too hard to tackle, especially if they’ve been doubtful historically in your relationship. Setting some basic rules about what topics shouldn’t be talked about at first is apparently a good idea.
When needed, wave the white flag. Serious discussions are often complicated and exhausting. If you’re trying to be real with each other, make sure you let one another “drop out” at some point for a crucial cooling-off period.
Example: I want to solve this with you, but I need a couple of hours to cool off. Can we take a night off?
Be mature: An honest conversation with your partner can be undermined by derisive remarks, name-calling, or belittling disrespectful comments. Dodge that positively.
Aim for progression, not perfection. Yes, no one is perfect. Honesty in love requires time, trust, and tolerance – And the realization that you are not a perfect one either!