You become co-parents the second you choose to divorce. For the child’s upbringing, an agreement has to be finalized in a civil legal separation. Your kids should come before anything else, regardless of whatever sick feelings you have towards the partner you are divorcing, because this is necessary for co-parenting.
One of the most significant things after a separation is to find out if you can talk about co-parenting with your ex-partner. It’s great if you are confident of doing it. If the two of you are striving towards proffering a united front, you will forge the most robust agreements. If you are not happy with the topic of co-parenting, then avoid it altogether. Concerning co-parenting discussions, therapists or mediators may provide professional support to both of you. It has to be executed flawlessly as it is an extremely delicate issue.
Ensure that your divorce agreement includes all the critical issues instead of trying to ad-lib privately. Your co-parenting will evolve better if you pay attention to all the minute detail now. An experienced divorce lawyer will insist upon very comprehensive and detailed child custody regulations. Failure to do this will most likely result in various forthcoming issues that include unexpected court dates, parental misunderstandings, and additional attorney fees.
Keep the transfer of money to the very minimum – do not attempt to split children’s expenses 50/50. Instead, be sure you write down all the future costs for which you’ll be accountable so that you know what the two of you will have to bear in terms of your kids’ expenses after the divorce. You can’t foresee everything being evenly split. However, know that things will be better and more sorted over the years. Both the partners need to sit down and decide who pays what. If you can’t speak about this, you need to bring in an experienced lawyer to help.
When you bring those near to you together for the first time, it is best to plan in advance. If the divorce is due to infidelity, it becomes a delicate issue. The aspect needs to be looked into to dodge complications later.
Even if there are no apparent child-parent problems, schedule post-divorce confrontations with each other just to discuss how the kids are doing. If things are going well, you can always cancel them; but, when the opposite is true, they remain necessary.
Although it’s been repeated repeatedly, I feel it’s crucial to emphasize the advantage of trained professionals when coping with co-parenting difficulties. This can save you money, prevent a lot of grief, and allow your kids to continue to grow with the stability and love of two parents.
Finally, co-parenting after a separation is a hard thing to do. It requires versatility, commitment, and sometimes conceding for your childrens’ sake.
Remember, to become good parents, you need to do what is in your kids’ best interest, even sacrificing your own personal interests.