The work control freak represents a person with a personality disorder defined by undermining other people, usually by way of commanding behavior manifested in the ways that they act to prescribe the order of things in a social situation. The word control freak was first used in the 1970s, a time when the cultural Zeitgeist highlighted liberal social norms, which supported the live-and-let-live principle of “Do your own thing” in opposition to the verbal requirement of social compliance within traditional conservatism.
6 Signs you are a control freak.
- You like working alone, and you are not a team player.
- You have no one else to thank (except yourself) whenever any work is successfully completed.
- You spend a lot of time attempting to convince others to change.
- You have failed to manage long-term relationships with others, and your attitude towards them is precisely the reason.
- You hate delegating tasks and want to ‘control’ work.
- You undermine others. You underestimate everyone around you without proper evaluation.
Does any point above match with your behavior? Don’t you worry.
The best news is you can prevent yourself from constantly trying to control others. I have worked with leaders who sincerely want to lessen their attachment and anxiety to control. Here are six things you can do to overcome this modern-day disorder.
6 Ways you can overcome your control freak nature
- First thing first, you must learn to stay calm: Distance yourself from the scenario you want to control. Focus on your breathing and find your inner demons. Before getting into a ‘control’ situation, perform a mantra that will calm your heart and mind and your desire to control. Meditation will help you immensely right here. It’s essential to relax, unwind and focus on your breaths whenever you get the urge to take over a discussion and/or situation.
- Slow yourself down when you speak: Carefully listen to what you are speaking. Is this how you really want to come across at any situation? Are you using non-threatening words? What questions can you ask to support collaboration and possibly be constructive?
- Stay patient inside your head: The transformation won’t occur overnight. Try to identify the frequently occurring times when you try to seek control the most. For instance, with your spouse, your children, or your sales staff. Try to know ahead of time what you need to do differently before you have entered the situation. Stay calm and try to plan ahead.
- Control your emotions and responses: There is no need to engage in worthless power struggles or constantly personalize what is going on. State your needs and wants. Get them fulfilled in healthy ways. Warning: you will feel overwhelmed with the desire to control. Don’t be submissive about it.
- Talk to yourself: Ask yourself tough questions to properly heighten your much-needed awareness of what is happening right in front of you. This is reassuring and calming.
- Choose things you can (and must) control: Pace the conversation. Pace yourself. Pay attention to what is within your boundaries and what affects you. You don’t have to stop staying in control of everything. Control those things that are needed to be controlled. Balance it out properly.