Marriage is far from being easy and many will not realize this until they tie the nuptial knots. It is always with great hopes that lovers commence a relationship with a whole lot of expectations. But with time, reality sets in, and it tastes bitter. The sweet and loving feelings at the beginning seem to evaporate over time and that is precisely what happens to many marriages. They realize that there is a remarkable decline in the quality of their relationships and a lot of reasons cause this. As things get worse, resentment dominates and if care is not taken, resentment is going to finish off whatever is left of the marital union.
Resentment is anger, disappointment, mistrust, hurt or other forms of negative energy that remain intense over time and get stronger instead of dissipating. As resentment grows, it becomes very difficult for the married couple to show any love or even care about the feelings of the other person. This is because one or both parties are burying a lot of pain inside.
A lot of factors are behind resentment and it starts when one side starts to feel some sense of imbalance in the relationship. If this feeling is not controlled, it is going to snowball into resentment which means an expression of sheer hatred and complete disdain for the other.
Resentment will only get worse with time and can trigger more devastating outcomes. These include selfishness, abuse, cheating, betrayal, neglect, and a host of others. All these are nothing but poisonous darts against your marriage and you need to act fast.
Steps You Can Take to Save Your Marriage from Resentment
Truth be said, it is not an easy thing to neutralize resentment once it creeps into a marriage but it is not an impossible task. However, for any measure to work, the two sides have to be united and committed to ensuring that there is a rebuilding of the marriage before things can work.
Here are efficient steps that you can take to get rid of resentment in your matrimony:
It is not going to help you if you just bottle in your feelings instead of speaking out. Some people will rather die than speak up and this builds up to nothing but frustration and toxicity in your home. You should not hide or suppress your feelings; you should be sincere and genuine when saying your mind. The two of you must make genuine efforts to communicate well with maturity, respect, and open-mindedness without any judgment.
Do not keep malice or grudge against each other as that is just going to worsen things for you. Malice will not fix anything so there is no point remaining evil at heart. Both of you should relax and find time to talk things over. Let out the tension and start appreciating each other.
Give Reasons for Forgiveness
Forgiveness is like a balm in any romantic relationship. For this reason, you two have to give reasons to forgive each other. Resentment can start from relatively little things then balloons into something else. You can take time to write down the reasons why you need to forgive.
Marriage is just a step away from total death if there is a total lack of empathy. You two need to start seeing things from the lenses of the other person. This may not be easy but when you realize the benefits that will emanate from it, you are surely going to do it. You can start this by appreciating the efforts of your spouse.
See the Good Sides
Resentment makes you blind to all the good things and pleasant sides of your partner. Hence, you need to start concentrating on those things that made you fall in love with him or her in the first instance. Rather than focusing on what makes you boil with anger, it is time for you to start seeing the sweetest sides of your soul mate.
Get Professional Help
There is absolutely nothing shameful in the two of you visiting a therapist, marriage counselor, or any professional in this field of spousal matters. Trained experts have a lot of experience and can even sort the most complicated matters for you with ease. So, if you think a matter is beyond the two of you, do not be shy to get help – it is a reasonable step to save your marriage.