Being together mindful about how love develops, gives you a chance at a committed relationship, and a couple can unwind and traverse along the way.
It takes time to get to the tip of commitment. Too many leaps into a commitment too early cause disappointment and heartbreak.
Have you experienced that? Probably similar to a fairy tale with a first date and then together blissfully ever after? It’s a fairy tale!
In the modern world, love happens to those who exercise patience. Solidifying a relationship is a slow process. Here are three stages to get there:
The Dating Stage
You explore at this stage. Is there any chemistry brewing? Everything’s very introductory. It’s not time yet to be thinking about a potential future together, just checking the other out, and seeing if you’re intrigued enough for future dates.
Relationship chemistry is emotional, emotional, and spiritual. The physical is often apparent. Do you find the person bodily attractive? Do you like the lips, eyes, body type? What about the laugh and voice, even the dialect? How does the person smell to you? What about the sensation of touch when you kiss or even shake hands? What about taste?
If your better half smells or tastes of smoke, is that a turn-off for you? Some things will never substitute. Some things will or can evolve, but you’re at the step of first impressions through the five senses right now.
There is also the spiritual and emotional connection that’s part of early chemistry discovery. How’s the discussion? What do you feel? Do you share similar life views and interests?
The Honeymoon stage
The Honeymoon stage is beautiful. It’s something many couples work to keep perspectives of later in their bond. You see one another regularly. You have a lot of excitement and fun together as you get to know one another. The Honeymoon can last for a couple of months or even up to a year. It ends as you get to understand the tolerance of your partner. Your partner has imperfections, and you start to notice them. And they yours.
For some, the Honeymoon is all they want. They have a kind of rush to the excitement of the Honeymoon.
They break up and quickly move on as the honeymoon stage matures to its close. I call these people 100-Day Wonders. They’re great for a honeymoon, but lack maturity and emotional stability to pursue a long-term relationship. (Goodbye to my ex Ron and Eve)
Relationship Commitment Stage
Once the Honeymoon with the rose-colored glasses is ceasing, and you see one another’s lack of maturity, you may try to change one another.
You may fight over who’s and who’s wrong in beliefs, situations, and attitudes. This can become a power struggle.
If you can get to the stage where you accept one another as you are, many relationships become more robust and endure rather than change the imperfections.
If not, the breakup can happen, or often worse, staying together and feeling inferior. If the decision is to accept your partner, and vice-versa, the relationship can continue and thrive. You’ve given each other a chance at finding love.
Are you interested in living your life with a purpose and to create the experience you want? Research shows that using creative thought processes is the way to map the love you desire. A big part of the life we want is a Loving Relationship.