The Dilemma of relocating to a different city for your partner


It’s 2020. Most ladies are finally able to spend their 20s focused on careers instead of having babies; there’s no longer an opinion that women can (or should) tuck away their dreams because their partner gets a job in a different city/country. It’s no wonder many couples choose to make long-distance work (thank God for Video Calls!) since any other choice is becoming increasingly bitter. 

On one hand, moving-in is a grand romantic gesture, sacrificing for your spouse, and understanding that your life with them is the highest priority. On the other hand, relocating for love prematurely can consume a lot of money, lead to irritation and worse, can make you feel fooled into a life you don’t feel comfortable in. There’s a fine line between a grand romantic gesture and the biggest mistake of your life.

But if you and your beloved have decided that moving to the same city is the correct decision for your relationship, how do you know if it’s the correct choice for you? Let’s find out in my letter for the lover below. 

My Dear Lover,

Sooner or later, you and your partner will have to decide who should move, because it is tough to live apart.

Moving will transform your life drastically; you should know what you and your partner want from life. You need to keep discussing until you arrive at a clear understanding of your expectations. It is your future.

Here are some questions to help you make the decision.

  • Will you have to “give up” your domestic animals? Does your partner have dogs, birds, cats, etc. at home? In case he is not a dog lover, and you are: are you ready to live your life without dogs? Will he change his attitude towards animals for you?
  • Any of you already have kids? How well will they accept living together, now as a different family? Are there good schools for them in the new place? Do they like the new town? How about their friends, will they accept being away from them? Can they keep their current hobbies, like sport, dance in the new city?
  • Are you moving far away from your parents? If you are a very close person to your dad, it will be very hard not to be with them so often. Maybe your mom is “old” and needs your help. You have the right to build your happiness, life and love, but I think it is unfair to leave your parents alone when they most need your support. 
  • Can you live in a new city possibly, for the rest of your life? Do you like culture? The weather? If you are a city lover and will move to a rural area, can you live with that, or will you miss urban life too much? If you are the type of person who can adapt very quickly to new environments, this is no problem. Still, if you are not and choose to move, you will need all the understanding, help, and support from your love for the more “challenging” phases – be aware that he knows that. Do you know the new city or you have been there before, only for a few days on holiday?
  • Forgive me, but if things don’t go well between you and your partner, and you decide to end your relationship after you move, will you come back to your old home or will you live in the new city? Can you live there without old friends and the support of your family? It will be a challenging time for you.

With all these questions, it might seem to you that this is a tough decision to make.

It is a big decision that will transform your life forever; you need to be very clear about your expectations. But my most valuable advice to you is to listen to your heart. True love is so precious and can banish any difficulties.

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