Whether you are alone, single, craving for love, or committed and going through hurdles in love, there is a significant advantage in knowing how old school relationships work and a sure-fire way of dealing with obstacles in them.
Going through hurdles in love, the answer is not to react. Learn to let go.
Love is a nonattachment. To love someone or something is to clear it. Let them be themselves. To love your kid is to remove your expectations of them. To love your partner means unconditional. No matter what they do, what they are, what they did or didn’t do- you love them.
In times of difficulty, go to the bleachers. Unwind in peace, and if you free the bird, and it doesn’t come back, it wasn’t yours. Let karma play its hand.
Don’t fight and push – learn to love.
All relationships must be built on three things.
The ground must be reliable and built on friendship. If there is friendship, then the most unfortunate outcome of a fall from love is a wonderful place with a person we want to attend for and love. So if there is tension, hold your lover as a friend. Offer friendship as an option to the relationship. If you can’t be buddies with someone you want to be in a relationship with, you have been exposed as a phony. Friendship means to wish for someone’s peace and to do what you can to support them. If you can’t be a friend to an individual, how can you plan to develop a bond with them? This is the fundamental layer that needs to be genuine, real, and substantial.
The second tier, once a friendship is installed, is love. This sort of love must be unconditional. To love means to free and hold at the same time. Love is the readiness to let the bird fly and know if it is intended to be yours; it will return. This is the second layer. To understand how to hold love for someone even if they don’t want a relationship with you is the gift of wisdom. Love is not an obligation that is placed on someone.
Unconditional love, the basis for Authentic relationships, has no questions. There is no question. There is no obligation for the love that takes over a relationship. Love is the base from which the physical and emotional and conditional existence of bonds can evolve. If you or your love cannot follow this whole love concept, then all that is built in a relationship is temporary. Love must, in its most unadulterated form, be unconditional.
The third tier is the relationship. A relationship that is based on friendship, driven by love, has nowhere sad to fall. The worst that can transpire is that you might end up loving a person you like, but don’t have control over them. The relationship is the cherry on the cake, the conceit of a dynamic between two people—warm, material, experiential, and personal – a beautiful expression of all that overlaps it.
To know love, unconditional love, is to recognize the difference between your expectations and your passion. People can reject your expectations; they cannot deny your love. Hold your love paced in your heart. Know that you can never stop loving someone. You can only put your mind in the way.
The relationship must be seen as the Champaign’s bubbles, the icing on the cake, the cherry.
Old School love is universal.