The Subtle Art of Judging

People are generally judged by their attitude, posture, behaviour, character, voice, clothing and so on. It takes only a few seconds to form an opinion about an individual you meet for the first time. Sometimes, you will only be able to create your judgment after a little while. In any case, your assessment reflects your own traits and your own story.

If you want to know how to form an opinion about yourself, look around the people you relate to: make a list of all their positive and adverse traits, not behavior. For example, intelligence, preferences, sense of humor, temperament, rhythm, etc.

When you examine your list, concede that these traits would not call your consciousness if you did not have them in the first place. “Wow! How about that? I never realised I had such a great sense of humor and made my friends laugh hard.” “Gee, I never knew that I had such a phenomenal imagination.” It is so good to realize that we also own grand positive qualities with other people. It makes us feel special.

Now, how about the features that you don’t like in others? You may ask: “Are you sure I have them as well?” “What? Me, making excuses?” “Me, overlooking certain people?” “Me, disrespecting others?” “I don’t think so!” You may not like to hear it, but it is right there.

Like a coin, you have two sides, one perfect, that you feel happy about and the other a little twisted, that you may want to hide. In any case, you must acknowledge that you are a complicated individual and that what you don’t like in others’ is also a part of you.

This acknowledgment is fundamental.

This is because you will now utilize your power of forgiveness, thus extending your peace and love to whoever you have mistaken. Of course, when you judge a person positively, there is a paramount connection which is divine. Now, the deal happens when you have to “undo” your weak judgment.

Now, why must you delete your judgment? Because for the world to be at peace, all the people must be in the same serene mode. Everyone is part of the whole. You can’t wish peace if you are conflicting, albeit several minuscule ones. You need to take the primary step.

Ok. The most useful thing for you to do is write another list, this time of all the people with whom you don’t have a personal relationship. Forget the traits or qualities; you have already thought about them.

For each person, make a list of six qualities that you genuinely appreciate about the person.

Anything will do. Even if it is difficult to find something, work on it. You can say, for instance: “Bohdan, I relish the green in your eyes. They are very green.” “Aunt Yulia, I like the traditional brownies that you always make when our homes get together.” “Mrs. Khrystyna, I admire your beautiful garden.” You get the idea. Six per person to start: you can elaborate on this list at a later time.

When you have concluded, sign the paper and write at least six things that you appreciate about yourself. Then, go back to the qualities that you don’t like in others and search where and when you have manifested them as well. Then, say to yourself in front of a mirror: “I now pardon myself and my weaknesses. Humans are not perfect. Let me be the first to paint peace around me. Let the love begin with me.”

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