Have you ever become extremely angry, or enraged, and when you begin to calm you develop a headache or you feel drained? No, it is not the rage that is affecting you. It is the enormous energy we draw upon and expend in our rage. We use tremendous amounts of energy to produce a little bit of rage. We drain our resources so that we can demonstrate attitudes and behaviours that do us no real good.
Think about it. When was the last time you were able to be effective when you were enraged? When was the last time you were able to make positive change in others when you were enraged? For sure, you stopped others from hurting you but not because you made positive change in them. You drove them away from you!
So the reality is we engage in a no win battle every time we use our rage as a dominant emotion. We drain our own bodies of resources in order to alienate others from us.
That is why rage is so dangerous. Not only does it lead to undesirable results but it lies to us along the way. It tells us “you cannot let that person get away with that. Show her who you are!” “You do not have to accept that. Give them a piece of your mind.” Worse yet, we sometimes feel good as we injure our loved ones or friends through our rage. See, I showed her, now take that! What we do not realize is we only proved one indisputable fact.
Meanwhile, every time we become enraged we cause damage to ourselves. We cause the arteries that serve our hearts to weaken. We cause acidic damage to the lining of our gastrointestinal system. We cause minuscule blood vessels in our brains to erupt. We cause strain on our hearts as it overworks to meet the increased demand for blood flow. In effect, we shorten our lives.
This is the wasted energy of rage. The worst thing is rage has no redeemable quality.
Now imagine if we took that same energy and engaged in loving, peaceful, dialogue when someone hurts us. What if we took that same energy and modeled the same loving behavior we demand, even when the person is hurting us? My friends, what if we took that same energy and found another who does not share half our blessings to bless?